Restaurant Thoughts

We had a very nice dinner last night, in a small restaurant on Place Dauphin, near us. I really like the French restaurant experience, and thought I'd write a few words about it. Truth is, the French restaurants do things differently and, as the French say, Viva la difference.

First, some advice to diners that actually applies to all French, or all foreign, commerce interactions: please, please learn to say "Hello", "Good-bye," "Please," "thank you," "yes," and "no" in the language spoken where you are. Last night there was an American couple in the restaurant that made no effort to say those simple words in French; they just expected the server to adjust to them. The restaurant staff spoke reasonably good English so it wasn't a problem, but it just seems to me that it's darn near an insult to make no effort whatsoever to say even a word in French when you're in a French restaurant in France. Ok, rant over.

The first thing you realize in a restaurant here is that the server is not going to be your friend. Friendly, possibly, but your buddy, nope. So you will not ever have a server come to your table and say, "Hi, I'm Pierre and I'll be your server tonight." Restaurant waiter is an honored profession here - no college students working part-time; they'll do their job well, but getting to know you...not going to happen.

If you've ever sat down and realized you didn't know what to do with those three forks, two knives and two spoons, not to worry in France. When you sit down, you'll have the silverware for the first course, whether that's the aperitif or the entrée (and how in the world did the main course in American restaurants come to be called the "entrée?" The entrée is the "entry" to a meal, the first or second course, not the main plate. End of second rant.)

Then, as the meal progresses, each course will be cleared, plates, silverware and all, and your place will be set with what you need for the next course. If you ordered fish, you'll get a fork and a fish knife; meat, a fork and a steak knife. If you're having a different wine with the next course, you'll get new wine glasses. Never a worry about what fork to use; use what you get for the current course.

A couple sidelights on the changing courses: almost never will a waiter clear a plate from a table until everyone at the table has finished the food of thatc course. Laurie loves that, because she eats slowly and in an American restaurant, ends up the only one with a plate in front of her; in American restaurants, when you finish your plate, it gets whisked away immediately. Here, expect your plate to stay, even though you're done, until everyone at the table is done with that course.

And you will never see a server stacking the dirty plates and silverware at the table. Each person's plate and silverware will be taken away individually; a nice touch.

The server will never come to the table during the meal and ask how everything is (or worse, "How's everything tasting so far?" which just appalls me. Third rant.) If something is wrong, you may have to flag down your server, who might well take the position that the kitchen could not possibly have served anything that wasn't exactly right and perfectly cooked. Generally, they'll take care of any problem, but the customer is not always right here; you ordered raw pig's knuckles thinking you were ordering foie gras, it's kind of your problem. And you may have to discuss with the server why something is not up to your expectations. This is, fortunately, a rare occurrence.

The service will be slower. When I was looking at on-line reviews, many people complained about how long it took food to arrive. That's just the way it is, particularly in small restaurants, which have correspondingly small kitchens. But the French like to take long meals, and you can expect long times before your first course arrives and between courses. Enjoy the conversation, enjoy the wine and relax.

Most restaurants we have eaten in serve three courses: entrée (see rant, above), main, dessert. In fancier places, more courses: an aperitif before the entrée; a salad after the main course (yes, after); a cheese course after the main and salad; dessert, and finally, coffee. Coffee is not served with the meal, not even with the dessert, unless you specifically ask for it and endure the "Say, what?" look of the server.

You must ask for the bill ("la addicion"). It won't be brought to you until you ask; this isn't bad service (again, I saw reviewers complaining about waiting for the bill and finally having to ask for it. Gasp!). This is the recognition that diners may want to just sit and talk. In France, when you sit down at a table, it's yours for the evening if you wish; you'll never be rushed so the restaurant can get another sitting at that table.

There're probably more differences, but that gives you an idea of the experience you'll have in almost every French restaurant. It's a little more formal, but more relaxed at the same time. I've enjoyed watching the way the French restaurants work, and I wish American restaurants would adopt some of the differences.